posted by Sean
A recent discussion with a friend revealed that her father had recently insulted her, calling her beauty into question. After some reflection, I’m still left with the following reaction: What a jerk! To be completely open, the other things I’ve heard about this man have only reinforced my judgment of him.
As fathers, it is our life-long duty to love and respect our children. I don’t have a daughter at this time, but I cannot imagine ever telling her that she is anything other than beautiful and wonderful. My boys provide me with plentiful amounts of frustration, but I’d never consider calling one of them stupid, inept, or ugly.
In David Deida’s The Way of the Superior Man
Dads out there, please treat your little girls with the utmost care. There is enough social pressure to look and dress a certain way, so always tell them you love them, that they’re beautiful, and yes, capable. Let them know how much you admire their effort to succeed.
If I have a daughter, she’ll get this from me, and God help the poor boys who try to date her. I can already see the big, ugly ogre who will greet these boys, question their intent, threaten them with a shotgun, and let them know how much I love my little girl and how disappointed I would be if she were to come home in tears. As I write this, I stop and think: Would I be issuing a challenge to this young gentleman? Would I actually be unintentionally inviting him to do the very things I am trying to avoid?
She’s getting locked in a closet until I arrange her marriage.
June 18th, 2007 at 9:06 am
hehe … My brother-in-law says as soon as my niece hits puberty, she’s wearing 4 sweaters and 3 pairs of overalls to school. Also, he won’t admit it, but we think my Step-Dad ran a background check on my bro-in-law when he started to date my sis a long time ago. Cop families are great. :-/
Anywho, I remember there was some show a while back (can’t remember what exactly), but they were trying to make the point of how parents should tell their daughters they are smart and intelligent and capable of achieving anything they want more than telling them they are beautiful and pretty they are. I agree that no parent should ever tell their child they are ugly, but instead of reinforcing the outside, try and reinforce their inside qualities.
July 11th, 2007 at 7:32 pm
My daughter is 15 (going on 18). I dread the dates, the boys, her figure [shudder!] I don’t know exactly why; it’s not protectionism, exactly. I’m going to think more about this.
July 12th, 2007 at 7:12 am
Joe,
I think most fathers remember how we looked at girls when we were younger. They were beautiful, mysterious, even forbidden. At the same time, a surge of hormones flooded our bodies telling us that we MUST get closer.
I don’t have a daughter, and I know that I will greet the inevitable loss of control with a full grown-up tantrum that I hope she doesn’t see. We all have to realize at some point that, as fathers, we cannot protect our little ones for their entire lives. Our real jobs are to give them the tools and knowledge they need to go out into the world and make the best possible decisions for themselves.
And, occasionally, give them a nudge; even when they’re 40, they’ll still be our little ones sniffling over skinned elbows.
July 12th, 2007 at 5:56 pm
[…] you may want to subscribe to my RSS feed. Thanks for visiting!A short post and comments over at Modern Masculinity has me thinking about daughters. I have two, on opposite ends of the spectrum in many ways. Dani is […]