posted by Sean
Thomas Brakar recently wrote an article about why friends are better than girlfriends. His three points are:
1. You can have as many friends as you want
2. A friend is still a friend even if you haven’t seen him for a year
3. If you lose a friend, you’ve still got friends
I agree with him on these points, and offer the following:
Friends will challenge you to be your best.
Your friends, both masculine and feminine, are just that: your friends. They will push you through your workout to squeeze out two more reps on the weights because you didn’t push yourself to your limit. They will tell you to fish or cut bait on the girl you’ve been talking about. They will kick your ass for sitting in a job that is easy and comfortable, because easy and comfortable is not what you need.
Friends will give you the straight dope.
Your true friends will give you the truth. True friends will tell you when you’re behaving like an ass, straying from your purpose, or failing to deliver on your commitments. They’re not there to coddle you through life, telling you that it is OK to hide from life’s challenges in the relative safety of your La-Z-Boy. They are your friends because they will challenge you to be your best, and they’ll tell you when you’re shying away without sugar coating.
Friends make you more attractive to your SO.
Finally, your SO does not want you to need her. The more you enjoy the company of your friends and have activities that do not require her presence, the more she will desire your presence because you have not sacrificed your independence to spend all of your time with her. She doesn’t want a little baby for a man, she wants a man for a man, and she will respect you for spending time away from her.
July 11th, 2007 at 4:58 pm
Well, yes, but balance is important too…
July 12th, 2007 at 7:03 am
Hobo,
First, thank you for your comment.
You’re absolutely right. My article didn’t emphasize the other half of the equation, and it was an oversight on my behalf. In spending time with his friends, and doing what men do, a man must also be present, loving, and giving of his inner gifts to his woman.
To me, my wife is the most beautiful, wonderful woman in the world, and very important to me She is worthy of all I have to offer and more, so I do my best to ensure that there is balance by maintaining friendships. In this way, I maintain perspective and retain the qualities that first attracted her to me.
– Sean
August 29th, 2008 at 11:17 am
now you are wrong if I like him I want him spend more time with me as with his friends…If he spend more time with friends mean he do not love me enough…
August 29th, 2008 at 11:18 am
you are all wrong if he loves you he want to spend time with you..
February 26th, 2009 at 7:27 am
Eva,
I find your comments interesting. If I understand you properly, you are saying that you want your man to spend more time with you than with his friends. In your second post, you state that if he loves you, he wants to spend time with you.
I am not saying that men should not want to spend time with their SO’s; If that’s true, they’re not significant, and should be set free to find someone who will treat them well. Rather, I’m saying that abandoning his friends in order to spend all of his time with his SO is not manly behavior.
I would go so far as to argue that if he does this, you’ll lose respect for him, and eventually dump him because a real woman doesn’t want a puppy who caters to her whims. Rather she wants a strong man with balanced priorities.
Sean