Comments on: Why Your Friends are More Important than Your SO

By: Feebs

Feebs — Wed, 29 Jul 2009 22:51:42 +0000

Thanks Sean. Its nice to get a male’s perspective on things and the more time goes on, as much as it hurts like hell, I am realising that relationships don’t have to be this way. Friends are important, and its great if you have your own and mutual friends and interests and do things with them, but its the balance that was missing here, far tipping away from spending time with someone you supposedly want to be with.
Thanks so much for your reply, I really appreciate it

By: Sean

Sean — Sun, 26 Jul 2009 19:10:51 +0000

Feebs,

I don’t think you’re unreasonable. Your former boyfriend did not prioritize you, and your relationship was not working. Find a man who will be present with you, giving 100% of his attention and love to you periodically, rather than just spending time around you when he’s really focused on the telly.

By: Feebs

Feebs — Sun, 05 Jul 2009 20:17:31 +0000

But what is a reasonable balance? My man (now ex as he worked out his priorities were not me spent and still spends 6 days a week with the same mates. We were together 14 months, did not live together, and our one night together during the week (by ourselves) was Wednesday nights. Friday nights were at the same friends place, but I’d go as well, although towards the end I found EVERY friday night to be just too much and as the winter onset, I only went every second or third Friday night. He would then cycle with his mates (same ones again) on Sat mornings, then go to the Footy matches with them, then we’d have usually committments together on the weekend like birthdays etc to go to. We did get to spend a bit of time together some weekends, but I just felt as if after 14 months, that his priorities lay with his mates.
Am I being unreasonable in thinking that this is not a fair balance? When we broke up, we also established though that he does not love me. He said he did into the couch on the day, but I don’t think he really does. In 14 months, I find that really disappointing as I want to be with someone who loves me as much as I love them.
From a man’s perspective…help!!
Tell me what you think, honestly

By: Sean

Sean — Thu, 26 Feb 2009 15:27:55 +0000

Eva,

I find your comments interesting. If I understand you properly, you are saying that you want your man to spend more time with you than with his friends. In your second post, you state that if he loves you, he wants to spend time with you.

I am not saying that men should not want to spend time with their SO’s; If that’s true, they’re not significant, and should be set free to find someone who will treat them well. Rather, I’m saying that abandoning his friends in order to spend all of his time with his SO is not manly behavior.

I would go so far as to argue that if he does this, you’ll lose respect for him, and eventually dump him because a real woman doesn’t want a puppy who caters to her whims. Rather she wants a strong man with balanced priorities.

Sean

By: eva

eva — Fri, 29 Aug 2008 19:18:01 +0000

you are all wrong if he loves you he want to spend time with you..

By: eva

eva — Fri, 29 Aug 2008 19:17:12 +0000

now you are wrong if I like him I want him spend more time with me as with his friends…If he spend more time with friends mean he do not love me enough…

By: Sean

Sean — Thu, 12 Jul 2007 15:03:40 +0000

Hobo,

First, thank you for your comment.

You’re absolutely right. My article didn’t emphasize the other half of the equation, and it was an oversight on my behalf. In spending time with his friends, and doing what men do, a man must also be present, loving, and giving of his inner gifts to his woman.

To me, my wife is the most beautiful, wonderful woman in the world, and very important to me She is worthy of all I have to offer and more, so I do my best to ensure that there is balance by maintaining friendships. In this way, I maintain perspective and retain the qualities that first attracted her to me.

– Sean

By: Hobo Stripper

Hobo Stripper — Thu, 12 Jul 2007 00:58:24 +0000

Well, yes, but balance is important too…